Marriage, bismillah..

"God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches you by means of opposites, so that you will have two wings to fly - not one." - Rumi

Here is our wedding website, please make du'a for us :)

http://www.mywedding.com/bilaiwanmenikah/index.html

Engineer, huh?

4 years of tears. 4 years of laughs. 4 years of ups and downs. Finally, it comes to the end. I made it, ALHAMDULILLAH!

I dedicate my degree to :

Abah who always encourage me to reach my potential. Your support and dua are answered. Abah, I know this is not enough to make you proud as having daughter like me. This is just beginning. I love you Abah, I do.

Ummi, your support and dua also counted. You used to say, "Bila, may Allah blessed your ilm'. I envy you to have chance for going to university, not like me and your sister. Please never take it as granted, the opportunity that you have." Ummi, thanks for teaching me the value of life.

My beloved grandma (ibu), I don't know what to say. But everytime I am around you, you always tell other people that I am your granddaughter that going to university. Your eyes can't lie if this is  something for you. Ibu, you don't have any idea how much I love you. 

This is it............

:)

I wanna quote something from Prof. Zaini's class (read: It is Optoelectroniscs and Fibre Optic class):

"People, being success is such a thing. But being success and humble is another great thing. You want others respect you, thats it the way. You don't be an engineer to ask people do this and that, walk with proud. More knowledge you have, the more you should lower yourself towards the GROUND." Thanks Prof!

Alhamdulillah :)

Selamat Hari Kemerdekaan, Malaysia!

Though going home is definitely a time when everyone always feel exited [ read : will be leaving this country SOON :( ]. But this is not what I feel right now. I kinda feel sad.

My first few semesters in Uniten, I did compare every single thing in Malaysia to Indonesia. The foods, the clothes, the people, the cultures and etc. And I made my own conclusion if my country is better in certain things. But there are certain aspects that Malaysia is way much better than Indonesia. Hmm...

4 years in Malaysia is not just a numbers. I feel comfort to stay here regardless the facilities that Uniten has. ;p

Today is the independence day of my second home. 

Well, I just wanna say, 'Selamat hari kemerdekaan my second home, Malaysia. You are a good country indeed, and you will always be insya Allah.' 

Please teach your neighbor country-Indonesia to be as good as you in developing the country. Guide him. I feel appreciate if you do. :)

Hidup

Hidup itu fleksibel. Mau dibuat mudah, bisa. Dibuat susah, juga bisa.

Tujuan hidup itu jelas. Aturan hidup pun juga jelas. Aku tidak bisa bayangkan, seandainya aturan Allah  dan tuntunan Nabi Muhammad S.A.W itu tidak eksis. Mau jadi apa kita? Berantakan, hancur, compang-camping. 

Saat ini aku berada dalam keadaan yang susah dalam hidup, itu bukan yang dijanjikan Allah. Tapi aku sendiri yang mem-begitu-kan keadaan. Thesisku hancur, revisi pun sangat lambat. Satu minggu libur seharusnya bisa aku manfaatkan untuk membetulkan semuanya. Bahkan menyiapkan slide untuk presentasi minggu depan. Tapi sekarang? Berantakan. Aku tau kenapa hidup susah, karena aku yang membuatny susah.

Entah apa yang aku pikirkan belakangan. Ini bukan keadaan seorang Nabila yang biasanya. Nabila yang kuat. Nabila yang selalu menjadikan sabar sebagai sahabat terbaiknya. Sabar sudah pergi, tapi aku rindu. Sangat rindu. 

Apalagi jika mengingat bulan Ramadhan, pilu rasanya hati ini. Ramadhan lepas begitu saja. 

Aku ingin bertemu sabar dan syukur. Dalam kadar waktu segera. Aku mohon.

Akhir-akhir ini pun, begitu mendapat masalah sedikit saja. Wuih, hati ini rasanya langsung panas hingga ke ubun-ubun. AHH. Kumohon kembalikan pribadiku yg dulu, walaupun tidak bagus tapi setidaknya tak seburuk keadaanku sekarang. T_T 

Innallaha ma'ana..

My Ramadhan

Blame on FYP. I can't really take care of myself. I'm getting thinner. I don't even want to know my parents' reaction (especially my mom if she knows me now). Plus, yesterday I had breaking fast together with my Indonesian senior, she is married. The first comment when her husband saw me, "Bil, kurus banget.. Kenapa bil?" - And I simply answered, "Skripsi, mas".

I'm wondering if FYP is the only reason of my condition right now. 

Talk about ramadhan, its like ferrari. AHH! Can I blame on FYP,  or other people feels the same too? Anyway, today's moon was simply subhanallah! Its awesomely awesome...

Credit to friend on facebook

Ya Allah, please accept our fasting, our qiyamul lail. We do for the seek of You, we ask your forgiveness. Please accept. We will not miss your blessing in the last 10 days of Ramadhan, insya Allah. Allah, We need You.

Allahuma innaka affuwun tuhibul afwa fa'fu annee (oh Allah you are forgiving, and you love to forgive so forgive me). It is nice dua to read!

Allahu musta'an. La haula wala quwwata ila billah. Allah, please save our brothers and sister in Syria, Rohingya, and all over the world...Aaminnn!

Sungguh, Allah Maha Mendengar

Demi kemuliaan dan kebesaran-Ku dan juga demi kemurahan dan ketinggian kedudukan-Ku di atas arasy. Aku akan mematahkan harapan orang yang berharap kepada selain Aku dengan kekecewaan. Akan Aku pakaikan kepadanya pakaian kehinaan di mata manusia.

Aku singkirkan dia dari dekat-Ku, lalu Kuputuskan hubungan-Ku dengannya.

Mengapa dia berharap kepada selain Aku ketika dirinya sedang berada dalam kesulitan? Padahal sesungguhnya kesulitan itu berada di tangan-Ku dan hanya Aku yang dapat menyingkirkannya?

Mengapa dia berharap kepada selain Aku dengan mengetuk pintu-pintu lain padahal pintu-pintu itu tertutup?

Padahal, hanya pintu-Ku yang terbuka bagi siapa pun yang berdoa memohon pertolongan dari-Ku.

Siapakah yang pernah mengharapkan Aku untuk menghalau kesulitannya lalu Aku kecewakan? 

Siapakah yang pernah mengharapkan Aku karena dosa-dosanya yang besar,lalu Aku putuskan harapannya?

Siapakah pula yang pernah mengetuk pintu-Ku lalu tidak Aku bukakan?

Aku telah mengadakan hubungan yang langsung antara Aku dengan angan-angan dan harapan seluruh makhluk-Ku. Akan tetapi, mengapakah mereka malah bersandar kepada selain Aku?

Aku telah menyediakan semua harapan hamba-hamba-Ku, tetapi mengapa mereka tidak puas dengan perlindungan-Ku?

Dan Aku pun telah memenuhi langit-Ku dengan para malaikat yang tiada pernah jemu bertasbih pada-Ku, lalu Aku perintahkan mereka supaya tidak menutup pintu antara Aku dan hamba-hamba-Ku. Akan tetapi, mengapa mereka tidak percaya kepada kata-kata-Ku?

Tidakkah mereka mengetahui bahwa siapa pun yang ditimpa oleh bencana yang Aku turunkan, tiada yang dapat menyingkirkannya kecuali Aku?

Akan tetapi, mengapa Aku melihat mereka, dengan segala angan-angan dan harapannya itu, selalu berpaling dari-Ku?

Mengapakah mereka sampai tertipu oleh selain Aku?

Aku telah memberikan kepadanya segala kemurahan-Ku apa-apa yang tidak sampai harus mereka minta.

Ketika semua itu Aku cabut kembali darinya, lalu mengapa mereka tidak lagi memintanya kepada-Ku untuk segera mengembalikannya. Tetapi malah meminta pertolongan kepada selain Aku?

Apakah Aku yang memberi sebelum diminta, lalu ketika dimintai tidak Aku berikan?

Apakah Aku ini bakhil, sehingga dianggap bakhil oleh hamba-Ku?

Tidakkah dunia dan akhirat itu semuanya milik-Ku?

Tidakkah semua rahmat dan karunia itu berada di tangan-Ku?

Tidakkah dermawan dan kemurahan itu adalah sifat-Ku?

Tidakkah hanya Aku tempat bermuaranya semua harapan?

Dengan demikian, siapakah yang dapat memutuskannya dari-Ku?

Apa pula yang diharapkan oleh orang-orang yang berharap,

andaikan Aku berkata kepada semua penduduk langit dan bumi,

‘Mintalah kepada-Ku! Aku pun lalu memberikan kepada setiap orang, apa saja yang mereka inginkan.

Dan semua yang Kuberikan itu tidak akan mengurangi kekayaan-Ku meskipun sebesar debu. 

Bagaimana mungkin kekayaan yang begitu sempurna akan berkurang, sedangkan Aku mengawasinya?

Sungguh alangkah celaka orang-orang yang terputus dari rahmat-Ku.

Alangkah kecewanya orang-orang yang berlaku maksiat kepada-Ku dan tidak memerhatikan Aku dan tetap melakukan perbuatan-perbuatan yang haram seraya tiada malu kepada-Ku.

[Dari Ibn Husain dan diriwayatkan oleh Imam Bukhari, Imam Muslim & At-Tirmidzi serta Ibn Hibban]

Aku dan Cita-Cita

Aku punya cita-cita untuk bisa menjadi dosen kelak atau setidaknya wanita karir, tapi itu dulu. Dulu, aku fikir menjadi istri dan ibu itu hal yang biasa, tidak istimewa, tidak ini, tidak itu (astaghfirullah), dan masih banyak kebaikan lain yang dengan entengnya aku bubuhkan kata 'tidak'.

Entah kenapa, akhir-akhir ini ...

Aku ingin...

Menjadi istri yang salihah dan menjadi ibu yang hebat... 

Aku ingin semakin mengenalMu melaluinya. Aku ingin ia menjadi perantara bagiku dan Engkau. Aku ingin mengejar jannahMu dengannya. Mendapat ajrMu dengannya.

Kepada siapapun ia, aku ingin dirinya kelak, membawaku semakin dekat padaMu, bukan jauh.

Kepada siapapun ia, aku ingin dirinya memahamiku seperti bagaimana kedua orangtuaku memahamiku.

Kepada siapapun ia, aku ingin dirinya seperti ayahku, ayah yang kuat terhadap segala kondisi.

Kepada siapapun ia, aku ingin dirinya seperti ibuku, ibuku yang tahu betul apa-apa yang tersirat dihatiku. 

Kepada siapapun ia, semoga ia kuat menjalani perjalanan hidupnya denganku. Semoga. Semoga..

Allah, semoga segalanya Kau buat mudah. Aku mohon.

Being-ME Conference

Alhamdulillah, I had chance to attend one of the coolest event ever held! Its Being Me (Muslimah Empowered) Conference. There were at least 2000 muslim women in Malaysia from all around the globe. I lost my words to write how spectacular the event was, masya Allah. It was AWESOME!! Amazing speakers from around the world too. I really really had wonderful time that day. But somehow, Being-ME makes me contemplate more for what I have been done in Uniten was just simply nothing in gaining  Islamic knowledge. T_T

Here are some pictures :

MUSLIMAH EMPOWERED! YEAY!

ME and My Favourite Writer (Yasmin Mogahed)

Sis Raya Chokatfard and ME

"Theres nothing like being in an Islamic gathering, learning new things that feel like the lifting of veils, surrounded by brilliant friendly faces, with the beautiful angels making dua for you and the Mercy of God dawns upon you. A certain tranquility that you feel. This is why it is called 'taman-taman syurga di dunia'. So whats stopping you from going to these Jannah on earth? Let's go! :)" - Miss Ikhlas Arshad

p/s : I am too happy for counting down the days of this weekend. My family is coming to Malaysia. But I feel sad at the same time, because Yasir will leave Malaysia next week for more than one month. :(

Thank You Allah for all your blessing. You are GREAT!

See you bloggers! ;)

Happy

I am Happy academically, mentally and physically. Even though, the conditions are the other way around but be the person who always think positive! let's!!!

Allah, I need You.

“Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear..." (Quran, 2:286)

Single Life vs Married Life (A story)

Taken from facebook group - My beauty is for my husband to see, not the world.

One dark night in the streets of Istanbul, Turkey walked two strangers and clashed into one another.

It was no other than Single Life and Married life. They both come across one another. Married life falls on the ground and single life yells at him. "Hey! Can't you see where you are going?"

Married Life remains silent and starts walking towards his destination. Single life stands right there looking at Married Life walk in pain. He realizes his mistake and how rude he was to him in anger. While moving forward he steps on to something. He looks at the road and finds a cellphone. He calls out to Married life and goes after him.

He apologizes to Married Life and gives him his cellphone. Married life says, "It's alright. I have learned to be patient especially when someone is angry. Don't worry about it. I forgave you already".

Single life looks at him in amazement. "How come? I have never seen any of my friends forgiving me like this. I am no one but a stranger to you. Besides, I was so rude to you. You fell on the road! Aren't you angry with me? You are so patient! May Allah bless you!"

Married life smiles and thanks him for returning his cell phone. He looks at single life and asks him what's wrong. Single life looked upset and frustrated.

Single life: Let's go sit down at the bench. I will tell you.

[Married and single life both sit down together.]

Single life: I don't know. It's just life is getting nowhere for me. I go to the university in the morning and work in the evening. I always feel something is missing in me. Something is quite not right about the way my life is going. I feel lonely all the time although I have so many friends. I could go to a party with so many people around but I don't feel happy. I feel alone. That's all. Nothing much really.

Married life: You should get married.

Single Life (falls off the chair): "Aaaah what?" What did you say?

Married Life: Yeah! You should get married. Marriage is half your deen. It looks like you are missing your other half.

Single life: Oh! I don't know. Are you married?

Married life: Yes.

Single life: MashaAllah it must be nice! You have a companion for a life. You are so lucky!! Life must be so good for you?

Married life: No! It's not the way you think it is. Before when I was single, I used to look up to the married couples. When it was my turn, I was so excited. After marriage, I hated my decision. When I was single, I had so much fun. I had time for my friends. I could play video games all day, come home at night. I had so much freedom. After marriage, my whole life changed. I had to become so patient and it's nothing about me. I fell in love and all I can think of is how to give happiness to my other half. There is no "me" anymore. I can't even go out wherever I want. I have to tell my wife everything. It's such a drag. Single life was so much better.

Single life: You mean after I get married, I would prefer my single life over married life? I think you are wrong!!

[Single life and Married life get into an argument]

Married life: Okay, you want to get married then?

Single life: Yes!! Absolutely!! I want to get married inshaAllah. Life would be so easy.

Married life: It takes more than that. Life is never easy. The day I got married, my wife always woke me up for Tahajjud prayer even though I as so tired from work!!

Single life: How did you feel after praying Tahajjud?

Married life: I actually felt good and more closer to Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala.

Single life: Okay.

Married Life: I don't like my wife's cooking? She doesn't know how to cook. She makes me go on a diet and gives me all healthy food!!

Single life: How were you when you were single?

Married life: I was fat but now I am in good shape Alhamdulillah.

Single life: Hmm…How does your wife treat you?

Married life: She takes good care of me. I have no complains. She tells me everything and I admire her honesty.

Single life: Then? What is wrong with your life?

Married life: Yeah…I never thought of it that way. My life is better than yours.

Single life: Do you know how miserable I feel?

Married life: No I don't. Listen, today I learned something from you and you learned something from me. We both have Alhamdulillah. Make lots of Dua's. InshaAllah get married soon. Marriage teaches you things that you never would have learned by yourself. It completes you. At times when I don't wake up for Fajr prayer, my wife would wake me up and I do the same for her. We both help each other with our mistakes and try to get better. If I do wrong, she tells me. When she does wrong, I tell her. I do not like to hurt her feelings so I say it in a kind way. The best part is we understand each other. My wife takes good care of me. At times we do fight, but at the end of the day we are together. I cannot imagine myself without her.

[Tears come out of Single life's eyes.]

Single Life: I am so getting married soon in sha Allah and I will invite you. Jazak Allahu Khayran.

Married Life: May Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala grant you a pious spouse Ameen

Ma'salamaa

"God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches you by means of opposites, so that you will have two wings to fly - not one."- Rumi

The Story of A Married Couple

Taken from facebook group - My beauty is for my husband to see, not the world.

Bismillah Ar Rahman Ar Raheem

Once in a beautiful land lived a girl named Summaiyya who was married to a man called Khalil. They were both very pious and strived to make Islam a central aspect of their lives. Soon after their marriage, Summaiyya felt bored staying at home; she wanted to do something for the Ummah. She loved to read and write, and would read a Hadith each day to her husband. Summaiya loved her husband deeply and treated him with kindness. She obeyed him, and, in return, her husband loved her very much.

One night after dinner, she asked Khalil if it would be possible for her to work. Khalil did not say anything. The next day however, after Fajr, she noted that he did not go into work. He had locked himself in a room without telling Summaiyya what he was doing and was making a lot of noise.

After Maghrib prayer, her husband asked her to get ready. While driving he asked her what kind of books she liked to read. She told him she liked to read Islamic books relating to literature, arts, and history. Soon after, Khalil stopped his car at an Islamic bookstore and asked her to pick out some books for him. She asked him what was going on but he would not tell her anything. Next, they went to Barnes and Nobles bookstore and got many different kinds of books. Sumaiyya also picked out some Middle Eastern, Indian, and Chinese cookbooks.

That evening they had dinner together at their favorite Afghan Restaurant, Zaynab’s, and afterwards went to the masjid to pray Isha Salat. When they returned home Khalil carried all the books they had bought earlier on in the day to his room. He asked her to go to sleep but Summaiya could hardly sleep! She was wondering what was going on and was tempted to go to the room and see but had eventually fallen asleep. At around 4am Khalil woke her up for Tahajjud prayer. Afterwards, he asked her to close her eyes and took her to the room he had been in all day, and asked her to open them. She opened her eyes and was surprised to see a beautiful small library. Her husband had made her an office at home! He had even bought her a laptop and set everything up, ready to use!

Khalil turned to her and said, "O my dear wife, I love you for the sake of Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala. I am responsible for you and I want to protect you always. You have asked me for permission to work and I respect you for that, however, I want you relax at home while I go out to work. I want to give you happiness and everything you could ask for. I hope you like my gift to you. I do not want you to work for any other man but me. Still, if you feel that you want to work outside the home, then I will not stop you. It would however make me upset."

"Men are the protectors and maintainers [qawwaamoon] of women, because Allah has given the one more [strength] than the other, and because they support them from their means..." (Qur'an 4:34)

Sumaiyya smiled and jokingly said that he can work for her. She thanked him for the office and agreed to stay at home. Every day when Khalil came home, he would find his wife engrossed in books taking in the knowledge and wisdom that they gave her. As the months went by, she started to give him advice from what she had learned and which was to prove beneficial for his company. Khalil also taught her about his business, and even allowed her some responsibility with some of the projects at work. He in turn paid her generously for the little work he gave her everyday and spent lots of time with her so that she would not feel alone.

This arrangement worked successfully for both husband and wife, and in time, they had four beautiful children.

One day, Khalil had a car accident. He was rushed to the hospital having suffered a knee injury. The doctors said that he would not be able to walk for at least six months or so. Sumaiyya did everything she could to take good care of her husband and the home. After a month, she felt there was a shortage of money in their bank account. She first looked for some jobs online and found a teaching position at an Islamic school. Then she wisely explained to her husband about the financial crisis they were going through and asked him if she could contribute to the household needs. After a little while, her husband agreed.

Sumaiyya would work all day at the school and would then come home to take care of her children and Khalil. She would make dua for Khalil and her children every day. Very soon, her burden eased when Khalil regained his health and was able to return to work. Now that her husband had recovered from the accident, Sumaiyya was able to leave her job and stay at home to look after the children. Khalil was grateful for what she had done and thanked her for being such a wonderful and supporting wife.

The Prophet (Sall Allahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) made every individual in the Islamic Society responsible for those under his or her authority in such a way that no-one, man or woman, may evade responsibility (Ideal Muslimah, 190).

He (Sall Allahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) said:

"Each of you is a shepherd, and each is responsible for those under his care. A ruler is a shepherd; a man is the shepherd of his family; a woman is the shepherd of her husband's house and children. For each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for those under his care." (Bukhari and Muslim)

The Prophet (Sall Allahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) indeed spoke the truth when he said:

"This world is nothing but temporary conveniences, and the greatest joy in this world is a righteous woman." (Muslim 10/56)

Allah's Messenger (Sall Allahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) said:

"O people! Fear Allah concerning women, Verily, you have taken them on the security of Allah and have made their persons lawful unto you by Words of Allah! It is incumbent upon them to honor their conjugal rights and, not to commit acts of impropriety which, if they do, you have authority to chastise them, yet not severely. If your wives refrain from impropriety and are faithful to you, clothe and feed them suitably." (Ar Raheeq Al Makhtum Page 541)

Thesis Fever

Assalamualaikum Readers!

These last 3 months I don't really have time and mood to write. Don't ask me why. Well, alhamdulillah this is the third week of my LAST semester in my bachelor life. I breath and feel the atmosphere of being REAL SENIOR, since then I whispering to myself, "Bil, your journey doesn't stop with B.Eng". Until now, that unknown voice keep entering my mind. Did I tell you before if I want to be lecturer? Please, don't laugh. The ambition of being lecturer is there, it is really there. But, this is just really rough plan, a very rough plan of mine, if there will be modification in my future plan later on, that will be from Allah, and of course it will be great, because His plans are always great, Allahu Akbar.

FYP, he drives me crazy. Actually, my FYP project is purely case study, it is research based project. So, I have to come to the lab, doing some experiments, get the desired data, and analyze it. I want to start the experiment since last week, in my second week of this semester. But, I couldn't start, since there is one called fiber clever is not working. Supposedly, there are 3 clevers, one of it is being used by PhD student, the other two are not working. So I have to wait until next week. But, my lovely supervisor, he doesn't want us to wait without 'doing nothing' so here we goo, he gave us early submission of draft thesis (chapter 1, 2 and 3) by next week. I was like ^%&^*!! In the mean time, I have to study to write the draft thesis using LaTex, he wanted me to start using it in my draft thesis. In this time as well, I am not really good to take care of my health, I got fever since last two days. So, all in all. The pressure of being last semester student comes, but yes it is too early.

Well, I advice myself to see it positively, maybe later on, during the time of official submission, there won't be many revisions that I have to make. Aaamin, insya Allah.......

Fa inna ma'al usri yusro - So verily, with the hardship, there is relief.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Aku Ingin

Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana:

dengan kata yang tak sempat diucapkan

kayu kepada api yang menjadikannya abu

Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana:

dengan isyarat yang tak sempat disampaikan

awan kepada hujan yang menjadikannya tiada

[Sapardi Djoko Damono, 1989]

Birthday = A Day of Reflection?

Birthdays, always a time for reflection for some people. It will be my birthday tomorrow, May 17. But not for me, I always think this way, if everyday is supposed to be reflection day for everyone. In islamic teaching, they called it as Muhasabah.

Age is just numbers. I really believe on it. Because age is always failed to measure the maturity of someone. Age always failed to reach so-called a successful life. Again, age is always failed in some important matters which people always compare age with those things. Never ever do that. Age is just numbers. There is one great saying regarding this, they say 'Being mature is a choice, but being old is a definite.'

  

I won't think so far to take an example, my elder nephew, Samy. Last January was his 8th birthday. But if you have any opportunity to talk with him, you won't believe if his age is just 8+. He is way much mature than me, I admit it. See the difference?

I prefer to ask myself in this way. Have you done something for other people, Nabila? What things have you reach so far, things that Allah love..? How about your parents, is there anything that make them proud of you, Bila?

Birthday is just another day to get through. To learn how to live your temporary life. Thanks Allah, for giving me a chance in another year ahead. A chance, yes a chance to be better. 

Tomorrow, I am going back insya Allah. I guess, 10 days are enough to boost my spirit up for facing the upcoming semester. My last semester, that is, insya Allah.

Wives and Husbands : An advice

Wives: Your husband may be your best friend but he will never be your girl friend or sister or mother so stop expecting him to care for you that way and know all the right things to say all of the time. You're setting him up to fail and then punishing him when he does.

Husbands: Your wife may be your number one supporter, but that doesn't mean she isn't in need of support herself. Yes, she can do... everything in the speed of lightening but it isn't always as effortless as you perceive it to be. You expect so much from her sometimes that you force her to burn out--whether you know it or not (and chances are you don't).

Let's all stop the miscommunication madness and appreciate what we have before it's taken away from us, God forbid. ~ Hosai Mojaddidi

Tidak Berjudul

"Kalau hidup, sekadar hidup, babi di hutan juga hidup. Kalau bekerja sekadar bekerja, kera juga bekerja." (Alm. Buya Hamka)

Another Year Ahead for You, Bang

Allah gives you another one year ahead. Please, never take it as granted. Allah loves you. I love you for the sake of Allah. 

Semoga Allah memberi kemudahan di kehidupanmu kelak. Semoga tiap-tiap langkahmu selalu diridhoi Allah. Tiap langkah. Semoga sisa umurmu penuh berkah, Abangku sayang.

Aku disini, tak pernah lelah untuk selalu mendukung yang terbaik untukmu.

Mandiri, adalah kata yang selalu kau lontarkan kepadaku, ketika kaki ini menginjak tanah rantau pertama kali. Aku selalu mengingat nasehatmu, "Segala sesuatunya jangan mengharap bantuan dari orang lain, Bil. Usaha sendiri. Jangan cepet putus asa."

Satu hal yang aku akan selalu ingat darimu ketika bertanya tentang C Programming di semester awal, "Bil, udah baca buku belum? Cari dulu, coba dulu, Bang Ace gak akan ngajarin tau, kalau kamu gak nyoba dulu." 

Bang, semoga dapat jodoh yang sholehah yaa. Aku ingin yang terbaik untukmu Bang, gak cuma terbaik di dunia, tapi di akhirat. Ingat Bang, dunia cuma tempat persinggahan sementara. Semoga siapapun calon istrimu kelak, ia pasti menjadi wanita yang bahagia, karena hatimu Bang, belum pernah ternoda akan cinta-cintaan ala ABG yang lebay hehehe, semoga istiqomah ya. Semoga Allah menjaga hatimu untuk ia. Pun ia, semoga Allah menjaga hatinya untukmu. Di masa penantian dan pencarian, semoga Allah sll kuatkan hatimu.

Hmm, I wish too much for you. I guess, you never read this post. Well, if you read this one day,  you have to know, that your stubborn sister here, which still asking your help anytime. I owe you soo much, Bang. I really love you for the sake of Allah.

Wait, do you still remember this picture? Hmm, I was around 3 years old, so you might be 8 years old. Aww, yes. We were cute. :D

Time flies...
This year, you are 27 years old and I will be 22 years old.

With Love,

Your beloved sister. :)

Heart

I never get bored to write about heart. I believe heart is the most valuable thing that you take everywhere. Yes, everywhere. Or wait, is it possible for you to take out your heart when you feel 'too much things'? Hehehe A big no, ain't it? 

One action that consists two words when you are dealing with heart : TAKE CARE!

Based on my experiences, taking care of your heart is really difficult, too many obstacles. For me, you won't deal with yours alone, you deal with everyone heart, then it comes to habluminannas. It is. But, if you think the other way around, sorry to say, but yes, it is one of the characteristics of an egoist. :)

The one and only person on this earth who had clean and pure heart was our beloved prophet Muhammad (pbuh). Allah asked the angel to take out Muhammad's (pbuh) heart to purify it, and of course by His amazingness, Allahu Akbar. Well, we are trying our best to follow him. Allah, please always guide us. Heart does need to be pure and clean.

I am worried of my heart will drift further away from Allah and feel lost without His Guidance. T_T

Imam ibn al-Jawzi (ra) was once asked:

"Is it better for me to make Tasbeeh (praise Allah) or to make Istighfar (seek forgiveness)?"

He replied:

"The dirty robe is more in need of soap than perfume"

Simple words. It does mean that, we have to prepare our heart before you fill with the love to Allah. The heart is the house of Allah and therefore before we intend to place Him within our hearts we have to ensure that it is clean and free of the sins, and this can be achieved by seeking the forgiveness of Allah from our sins. A taubah, a repentance.

Dear Seeker of Islam;Seeker of Submission;Seeker of Deeds;Seeker of Jannah,

Do stop to wait for the right time to change. There is no such a right time for it. Wake up!

Allah listed in Quran :

“The day that neither wealth nor sons will be of any benefit except for he who comes to Allah with a pure heart.”- Qur’an, 26:89

There will come a Day when NOTHING will benefit you except a pure heart.

…Is your SOUL ready to meet its Creator? T_T 

Are you ready for it?

“…to clean you thereby and to remove from you the whispers of Shaytan and to strengthen your hearts, and make your feet firm thereby.”- Qur’an, 8:11

This section is designed to enable you to put the heart back in your actions. No more empty movements and mumbled words in salaah. Love your Creator! Begin the process of self-purification now!

credit to few sources with many changes.

Smoking Reduction : 50%

All praises due to Allah. ALLAH LISTENED MY DUA. Alhamdulillah YA Rabb. Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal.

People! You don't have any idea how HAPPY am I right now. Super duper happy. Having full mark for test? FYP progress? Done with projects and assignment? NO! Wrong guessing. 

I just received a love SMS from my beloved father, I can't stop smiling and my happiness is bloated up now. Do I over act on this situation? Of course, not. This is the moment where I was waiting since years. I do wait this thing to happen long time ago.

Abah sent me SMS :

"Assalamualaikum Wr. Wb. Bil, abah sampai skrg sudah berhasil 50% ngurangi rokok. Km boleh tanya umik. Insyaallah bisa berhasil 100%. Doakan yaa sayang."

p/s: HELP ME! I can't stop smiling. Thank you, Allah. Thank you!! Alhamdulillahi rabbil alamin. Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah. Abah, I always here supporting you, always Bah. Always and always. I love you for the sake of Allah. Love you! :) :)

180 Miles Away From Wishes

29 February, its once in every 4th year, leap year that is. Nothing special about it, but somehow it has uniqueness, so I write this post as if in another 4 years later on, I could re-read again this post. Another 4 years, who am I gonna be? A wife - insya Allah, of someone out there who has big heart to deal with me in rest of his life and maybe become mother. Errr, what am I talking about? Allah knows best about it! :)

Well, here we go I wrote down list of wishes, where I wrote it? On my mind. I really have some plans of what to do this year, graduation is one of it.  In my 7th semester, many friends asked what is my planning after done with the degree? Really, I only have rough plans of it, my big desire is, I really want to continue my studying, I wanna be a lecturer one day insya Allah. But if my luck isn't there, then maybe I will work which is related with my field of course, again these are only my rough plans, I don't want to put so much hopes on it, since I experienced so many times, if I am too optimistic with plans usually I won't get what I want, Allah is the best planner, ain't it? Well another wish that hasn't became true yet is, I wish that my father could stop smoking by this year insya Allah. Starting from last 2 weeks, I keep sending him messages, some of it he replied back. This is the one of the examples :

"Abah sayang kan sama Nabila? Kalo sayang jauhin rokok ya, please banget. Nabila sayang Abah." -  (Abah loves Nabila right? If you love please stop smoking. Nabila loves Abah)

I don't really know whether the messages will touch his heart or not.

Talk about wishes and those things, I kinda always do day-dreaming recently (isn't that my hobby? lol) I feel like, the playing times are enough for me, the past 21 years is more than enough for not becoming real serious in life. Am I that old? Wohoo! Time does flies real fast.

This semester is another disaster for Uniten students, I have 3 elective subjects, which are two of them have another big projects as well, yes it is excluding my FYP1. I chose Image Processing, Applied Telecommunication and Radio Frequency (Microwave Engineering) as my elective subjects. Don't ask me why I chose them, it is simply I want to know more about it and a lil bit feel interested, though. Okay, I think this writing is enough to write something to remember in the next 4 years, insya Allah. I have so many things to read on, I have meeting with my supervisor tomorrow for progress report 1. Wish me luck, fii amanillah Nabilaaa! :)

p/s : 180 miles = 180 days

ISWS 2012

Indonesian Students World Symposium 2012 - ISWS 2012

Last friday, all the active Indonesian students in Uniten had their chance to attend ISWS. Actually, it comes from Dewi's invitation - the new foundation girl, she sent us sms for attending the symposium, she got the invitation from PPI-M (Persatuan Pelajar Indonesia Malaysia). Well, the symposium started from 16-19 February 2012. But we only have invitation for second day, yes they invite all the Indonesian students from all University in Malaysia, but they give us the limitation for the number of student from each Uni. Min 5 students, max 10 student. Well, it doesn't make any matters for Uniten students, since the total of us now not even reach 10 people. So, here we go, we all came to the symposium.

Since the first day, all the representatives Indonesian students from all over the world had meeting. As far as I know, there were at least 27 countries. From UK, Japan, Sudan, Portugal, Australia and many mores. The priceless thing is, to know if there are brainy Indonesian people out there who are struggling over the world. They were just simply awesome. Indonesian ministers came for the 2nd day symposium, they gave some talks, Hatta Rajasa-Minister in Economy field, Akbar Tanjung and etc. But there are some important people didn't attend, we assumed they got corruption cases (Ohh Indonesia!) one of it is Anas Urbaningrum well we know what his problem is. 

Hatta Rajasa gave us advice to come back 'Home' after gaining knowledge from outside Indonesia, make the contribution for the better Indonesia. Do it for Indonesia, not other countries. As we know, the brainy Indonesian usually choosed to spend their entire life to live outside, they feel more appreciated. Hmm...

Currently, there are more than 14,000 students who are studying in Malaysia (only) and 20,000 students study in Singapore. What a number?!

All I could say, it was priceless oppurtunity to sit and listening some talks. Well, eventhough I could attend one talk, because I have FYP meeting in the morning and FYP class in afternoon.  Seeing those students made my spirit bloated up. Indeed. Indonesia has really bright future, insya Allah. We have.

Here are the pictures of us (don't get a chance to take picture with the ministers):

Adit, Bang Jhon, Hana

Nabila, Robin, Hana *lagi :p

Alhamdulillah, I hope I could maximize any opportunities during my last year in Uniten. Bismillah. 

p/s: FYP Mode : ON

Pra-FYP

Thursday - last week, it was a bad day for me, alhamdulillah. I have prepared the Student-Proposed form since the day before it, well I could say it was well prepared. All I need is only asking the sign from the perspective supervisor, I choosed Mr. Fairuz Abdullah. After I got his sign, I could straight away submit the form to the  coordinator before 12-noon. So here you go, I came to his office by 10am, since I was free at 10-11am, luckily he wasn't there. I was extremely panic. I sent him email, then he said if he got meeting until lunch hour!! 

If anyone could see how my face looked like that day, I went back with a hopeless. But on friday, I talked to my classmate, Shahram-an Iranian, I told him how my story went up, he told me to discuss to the coordinator, as if I have valid reason of it. Do you know why I don't want to discuss it at the first place? I was panic and afraid, I dont have any idea what to do that day. My face was really like a crumpled paper. :)) By Allah's will, the coordinator accepted the proposed-form, eventhough it was late submission.

I pointed all the blame on me, sometimes I am afraid to try. No harm to try, no harm to ask. 

This week onwards, I put all my knowledge, time and everything that FYP needs from me. insya Allah

Keep the dua, here are some dua for students : (Taken from internet)

Dua before Studying 

“Allahumma infa’nii bimaa ‘allamtanii wa’allimnii maa yanfa’uunii. Allahumma inii as’aluka fahmal-nabiyyen wa hifzal mursaleen al-muqarrabeen. Allahumma ijal leesanee ‘aiman bi dhikrika wa qalbi bi khashyatika. Innaka ‘ala ma-tasha’u qadeer wa anta hasbun-allahu wa na’mal wakeel.”

"Oh Allah! Make useful for me what you have taught me and teach me knowledge that will be useful to me. 

Oh Allah! I ask you for the understanding of the prophets and the memory of the messengers, and those nearest to you. 

Oh Allah! Make my tongue full of your remembrance and my heart with consciousness of you. 

Oh Allah! You do whatever you wish, and you are my availer and protector and best of aid."

 ---

 

Dua after Studying

“Allahumma inni astaodeeka ma qara’tu wama hafaz-tu. Farudduhu ‘allaya inda hajati elahi. Innaka ‘ala ma-tasha’-u qadeer wa anta hasbeeya wa na’mal wakeel” 

“Oh Allah! I entrust you with what I have read and I have studied. Oh Allah! Bring it back to me when I am in need of it. Oh Allah! You do whatever you wish, you are my availer and protector and the best of aid.”

---

Dua while Studying Something Difficult

“Allahumma la sahla illama ja-‘altahu sahla anta taj ‘alu al hazana eza ma shi’ta sahal.”

“Oh Allah! Nothing is easy except what you have made easy. If you wish, you can make the difficult easy.”

---

Dua for Concentration

“Salla-l-laahu alaa Muhammad wa aal-e Muhammad. Allahumma inni as’aluka yaa mudhakkira-l khayr wa faa’ilahu wa-l-aamimira bihi dhakir-ni maa ansaani-hi-shaytan.”

“Blessings of God be upon Muhammad and his progeny. O God, I ask you, the one who mentions goodness and actualizes it and commands it, remind me of that which the shaytan makes me forget.”

Putrajaya Pics

Assalamualaikum, readers! :)

Anyway, there are 2 new Indonesian girls, one is taking master and the other one is foundation. And there is one new master student from UM too. They are under scholarship from Yayasan Khazanah. We went to putrajaya as the nearest place from Uniten as well as the most beautiful place in Malaysia (in my opinion). 

We went to Masjid Putra, Masjid Besi, Putrajaya Bridge and Alaf Tower. And the last place we visited is for dinner, which is somewhere in Petaling Jaya. Was a long journey, but FUN! As usual, the other Indo-Uniten boys were also joining us, of course because they are the one who had transportation. My dear Yasir was also there. (I know you never read my blog :P)

Here are the pictures :

Top-Left (Dewi, Dina) and Lower-Left (Hana, Nabila)

Bro Yasir and Bro Abdi

Background : Masjid Besi

p/s: The pictures are credited to Bro Jhon.

Blessed Friday!

As I write this post, friday is the day of today. I have so many things to do for tomorrow (read : today). My training presentation, meeting up with my FYP supervisor to discuss my title whether it is ok or not to proceed [FYI: I haven't prepared yet what things that I want to discuss with him, screw me! :( ] and another one is . . there is new Indonesian master girl, wohoo! It means the population of IndoUniten is increasing, but deep inside my heart, I feel pity with some new Indo students, why they could trap in this university (get a mirror!)

Training presentation, until now I just finished to do the cover slide, I am so lazy to do. I feel that, this is really not me. Not Nabila that I known so far. Well, as I am tired like crazy today, I just come few hours back from mines, I was walking with my friends from mines to serdang with carrying heavy things. And in the afternoon, the Admin officer was playing on me. I couldn't extend my visa as easy as usual. But, still, whatever the conditions that I might face, this 'smile' will never go away from me. insyaAllah! :) :)

Anyway, I got sweet text from my beloved father :

Halo Atibil sepi rumah tanpa kamu. Udah aktif lagi di kampus. Abah doakan sehat2 aja dlm lindungan Allah amin.

I was almost crying when read his text. He is just simply the sweetest man in my life, so far! ( Sorry Yasir, this time I dont count on you. :P)


p/s: Right after posting this writing, I am going to sleep for an hour then wake up to finish the unfinished things. FII AMANILLAH, NABILA!

Time

Almost half of a year I have been in Indonesia, 5 months to be exact. By the way, there are a lot of changes on me. A lot, I could say. And I, myself, is the one who really can feel it. 

I already passed the report to the company that I did my training before. Relief? Not yet. I still have to settle logbook and giving some final touch to the report (fyi: the duedate is on Monday 30th). 4 days left, and the new semester will start. By Allah's will, FYP1 is already waiting me; I guess, my assignment for first week in Uniten will be my FYP proposal, insyaAllah. Another 2 semesters left, insyaAllah I have already known what I should do next after graduate, time will answer-of-course, always seek His guide, His blessing, His mercy for going through the next level of this life. 

Samy n Dafi, I definitely will miss you! :(

p/s: counting down the days to leave this baiti jannati!!

Aging Parents

I was just reading a good article on Suhaib Webb 'A Reflection on Aging Parents', then it makes me wanna write something about it. 

Parents. I still have complete parents, a mom or I called her 'Ummi' and a dad or 'Abah', Alhamdulillah. Times is running, and it does influence with the age of people. This year, Abah's age will be 62 years old and Ummi's will be 50 years. Yupp, 12 years difference between them. My mom married at the age of 19, Allah has set it. No university life for her. And my dad, he has to struggle by himself to pay his fees for university when he was studying Civil Engineering at Brawijaya University, Allah's will - he couldn't finish his study, he is way to busy for working that time, he stops in 6th semester. Abah told me, he started to work from junior high school even until now! :( My grandfather is passed away when he was 7 years old. Hmm, I guess that makes him so mature to arrange his life properly. Life right?

"Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor." - Surah Al Isra (17:23). 

Ah, I am about to cry when read this ayat.. Abah and Ummi, I am your naughty daughter which still often to say 'Ah, later la..'

Abah, I am full of sins. Sometimes when you ask to repeat my words, 3 or 4 times, then suddenly the volume of my voice is increasing. Ya Allah. When you teach me to talk, how many times did you repeat the words to me? How many times you correct my spelling?

Ummi, I am full of sins. How I am going to pay you with everything you gave to me? Your struggle, your knowledge, your patience and every single thing from you. Once I listen a lecture about mother, if you are trying to hold your mother with your back then you walked around this world, it is NOT ENOUGH to pay your mother!!

Don't wait until you see your parents carried out of the masjid in a box to realize how much better they deserved from you. -Amatullah. Astaghfirullah, Astaghfirullah, Astaghfirullah. TT_T

Don't you know those people who treat and obey their parents can assured that their children will also show kindness and compassion to them? It does continue from generation to generation. I guess, both father and mother are equal when it comes to caring for them and providing all their needs. The time that the parents need to be looked after most, is in their OLD AGE.

p/s: I am not your good daughter, but I am trying to be a good one. I do. Allah, have mercy on both of them as they cared me when I was little.

2012

My first post in this year, I don't know why I am so lazy to write recently. Anyway, I don't like to wish a happy new year since our prophet (peace be upon him) never us to do so even his companions. I just dont like new year, it means my age is increasing and we are near of our death. But one thing from this year is, I will graduate, another 2 semesters left insyaAllah. AAAAAMINN!

I spend most of my time with family, yes family. I just came from Batu-East Java, my grandma's and my aunties' home are there. I was spending my 10 days just chilling with family, catching up what is left from them. But my luck wasn't with me, the OpenOffice in my (yasir's) laptop couldn't work, sooo I can't do my training report during my stay. Because of it, I have to go my cousin's home to edit and send my writing for 99HijabStories - A book project from an Indonesian author Muhammad Assad, the dateline was 31 December 2011. His book Notes From Qatar is inspiring, I don't buy the book, I just read his blog because most of his writing in that book is taken from his blog. No, I didn't wish much of my writing will be one of stories that he choose for his book, I just wanna do something during my free time. 

And recently too, the fitnaa that is pointing to me and my family has been spreading nicely. I am trying for not doing bad things to others, I always trying to keep my habluminannas remain good, I do always do. But, I don't know how to stay with this. You know people out there, it's me Nabila that always and always protect myself since I baligh until the last breath of mine, only Allah knows me best. Dont't you know when my imaan is low, how hard I protect myself and asked Allah to stay with me? But those people just so easy to talk. It really hurts me, Allah. It hurts. But in times like this, I just keep my anger and keep silent, while I keep reciting du'a.

Inna maal usri yusro fa inna maal usri yusro.

At most writings that I have, I write rubbish in here. Lump it then.

p/s: The bad news is, I am so lazy to write my training report, lucky me the company haven't asked of it yet. Oh come on, nabila!!