Allah Ma'ak!

In Islam, there are 2 types of relations : Habluminannas and Habluminallah. For me, Habluminallah is easier than Habluminannas, why I could said so? Because Allah is rahman, Allah is rahim. We do bad things, and we seek Allah for the taubat, insyaAllah He will answer our taubat. But how about Habluminannas? This is hard for me, how we have to behave rightly to people. If you want others respect you try to respect others. We never know what's inside someone's heart. Only Allah knows. This makes me remind of nice quote from Yasmin Mogahed, 

When you beg of people, they hate you for it. When you beg of Allah, He loves you.

This is obvious right? Allah loves when we always beg du'a to Him. I know, sometimes you would feel. 'Ahh, I always make du'a to Allah but none of my du'a being answered.' You are wrong. Totally wrong. He always hear our du'a. He will answer in His ways. Sometimes, He will answer you directly like whatever you want, or else He will answer your du'a in other way of course that's the best way. His plans are always better than us. Of course! 

So, never hesitated to recite du'a, to seek His help. He is there, whenever you need Him. You can't depend on people. Because people may come and go. But Allah? He never ever leave us alone. Never feel alone.

La Tahzan, innallaha ma'ana.

Ummi and I

I just had a short conversation with Ummi, and it was enough to make her extremely surprised! 

Me: "Ummi, please pray for me.. I plan to find a scholarship in Malaysia for my master. I know you wont let me to do in other countries. I don't wanna do in Indonesia, If the option is still only Bali."

Ummi: "hehe, ya bil. Ummi always pray for your success, success in dunya and akhirat."

Me: "Thanks mi. I plan to take with my husband insyaAllah. (I was giggling in my heart and force my self for not to laugh)"

Ummi: " HAAAA! Now i feel suspicious with you. Are you in haram relationship with non-mahram? Do you have boyfriend?(She was really really....)

Me: "Ummi.............You really don't know me at all. I was kidding really. I thought you know me well, I wont do those haram things. You might not seen me, BUT I can't avoid Allah's view. So, insyaAllah I know what good things that I am supposed to do, and what bad things that I am not supposed to do. InsyaAllah, mi. InsyaAllah.

The conversation that I had just now, it makes me remember the times when I was innocent (Well until now :P), or we can called it as transition point, it means whatever I do in this dunya, the responsibility does not belong to my parents anymore (baligh). I was giggling alone. Whenever I wanted to go school. Ummi came and gave me advice in her excellent way, "Bil, you know what, if you deliberately touch someone which is boy, that's the same thing with you try to touch the hell-fire. Don't get near with boys, or else you will get burned. (lol)." And she kept reminding me, until I enter my unwanted-moments which is high school and then I understand what she was trying to tell me.

Now I get my mood back to study. Random Process : Mode ON! ;)

Berjaya Hills Pictures!

I have 4 midtermS! tomorrow is my Creative Thinking midterm, and this friday is Random Process. Next tuesday is DSP (Digital Signal Processing) and the scariest one is Communication System which is on 1st July. Biidznillah. Please pray for me.

Well, last saturday I had so much fun, alhamdulillah. I went to Berjaya Hills with Natassha and housemates (2sudanese). Here are the pics! :)

Me and Mai : French Village

This band is really nice!

Again. :P

I dunno what she was trying to

Yes. I know. I am the shortest.--

I won this doll!

Us

----

Where are you my dear patience?

Patience will always stand here beside me, always.

Recently, the things became worst. I should realize from the beginning, if that was not good for me. But Allah's plans will always better than mine. I did mistakes. I did. I should not start everything. But now, my patience travels to other place. I don't know how to find it. It is just gone. And somehow, I miss the days when life was simple. But then again, it never was.

The clock points at 3.40am in my PC, but i could not sleep. I tried. But. Still. Can't. So I read a book that my friend gave me on my birthday last month, I read 15 pages already, it is inspiring - 'Think Positive' is one of a series from Chicken Soup for the Soul. 

------"Life isn't always easy. When things aren't going your way, those peppy little sayings --Count your blessing instead of sheep. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and if you see it, you can be it."

Enjoy the weekend with day-dreaming, studying, reading, saman dance training, saturday-ing at Berjaya Hills, etc.

p/s: Great fortune. Ummi called me today, she said if her friend is going to kuala lumpur and ummi gave me foooooood through her and a leather jacket from my beloved uncle. Alhamdulillah.

#NowPlaying : Let it be - The Beatles

I Hate Smoker, but I Love Abah

Being far to my parents, somehow It makes me more independent, mature and introvert. Introvert? Ya, I always tell every single thing in my life to my dad, I really closed with him. But here, i don't find any person who I can share with. So maybe, that makes me instantly introvert to the people. But I am extrovert with Allah, of course! He always watch me. Ok back again, the 'closeness' doesn't mean I can change my dad's addiction into cigarette. Frankly say, I am tired to give him advice. He is now almost reach 61 years old by this 30june, it is like he never care about his health. He cough everyday, but then he always cover, say 'this is not because of smoking'. and he always believe by drinking so much water, the harmful effects of smoking can be avoid. Oh, Come On?!

When I was living together before I study here, I always act, I cough hardly, when I sit next to him while he was smoking that time. Even he just started to smoke, he directly throw that cigarette. But now?! I was trying to do the same every time I am home, and it is failed. Then my mission I passed to my princes, Samy and Dafi. They are my amazing nephew. Dafi has started, he always throw to our garbage every time he look there is a package of cigarette on table. ( I'm proud of you, dafi!). Samy, he always throw the cigarette stock of abah, he put in cupboard, and samy knew it. But i heard from my sister, he stop to do that, because his beloved grandfather got angry, and told to samy if he wont buy any toys if he still do the same. (Oh, kids!)

Ok, I only could rely to dafi, my youngest nephew. He is 18 months now. So, abah only can smile if seen dafi do the thing. 

I asked abah, why you could not stop to smoke? It has bad effects, and you know our prophet told us to avoid smoking because it can harm our body.

I want to stop bil, but let my another grandchildren that it comes from you will ask me to stop.

and i was like ' -_________________________________-' ( Is this emoticon enough to describe my face?) 

I could not continue our conversation.

I always pray, if abah can stop to smoke soon. insyaAllah..

Please do guide my beloved father, Allah.

Easy to ask, anyone can answer?

When we are in our graves, who are the people that we will envy? What will be our regrets?

Dhirar Ibn Dhamrah

Dhirar Ibn Dhamrah, beliau adalah lelaki yg dekat dengan Ali bin Abi Thalib. Beliau mengatakan, Ali terus bermunajat kepada Allah dengan mengadu berbagai macam bahasan. Lalu, Ia berkata kepada dunia.

''Hai Dunia! Menjauhlah dariku! Mengapa engkau datang kepadaku? Tak adakah orang lain untuk kau perdayakan? Adakah engkau sangat menginginkanku? Engkau tak mungkin mendapat kesempatan untuk mengesankanku! Tipulah orang lain! Aku tak memiliki urusan denganmu! Aku telah menceraikanmu tiga kali, yang sesudahnya tak ada rujuk lagi. Kehidupanmu singkat, kegunaanmu kecil, kedudukanmu hina, dan bahayamu mudah berlaku! Ah...sayang! sangat sedikit bekal ditangan, jalan begitu panjang, perjalanan masih jauh, dan tujuan sukar dicapai!"

Dikutip dari buku 'Dalam Dekapan Ukhuwah' - Salim A Fillah

A Shocking Dhuha

“Once the game is over, the King and the pawn go back in the same box” -Italian Proverb (change 'box' to 'grave' to make Islamic). 

-Yasir Qadhi-

Well analogy from Yasir Qadhi. Today morning was really unwritten-able or unspoken expression from me. I woke up around 6am and I prayed Fajr. Then, I continued to watch an indonesian movie, 'Dalam Mihrab Cinta' until 7.30am. I signed in my facebook account. I read a shocked status from my cousin's wife, she said if my another cousin which is Mahfud Thalib passed away, around 00.30am midnight. I was speechless, really. I was thinking, oh maybe there is other Mahfud. But my heart and my mind was really %$^%. Then I clicked chat box on facebook and was willing if one of my family is online and i can ask for it. 

I asked her and ya it is true. He is Mahfud Thalib. My cousin. My cousin. I considered him as my brother. He is veryy close to Yasir, my sibling. They have the same age. They played, gathering together. He is married. Until now, I still shocked, I called ummi, but she is really shocked, more than myself. She can't say anything when I contacted her. Allah's secret. We never ever can predict, right? It is written on lauhul mahfudz, everyone in his world has own book which Allah already wrote everything even before we born to this temporary place, dunya. Ya Kareem. Ya Mujeeb. Ya Ghoffar..

He was with his friends. There are 4 people in a car, maybe they plan to travel from one city to another but still in east java. Unfortunately, they got car accident. Three of them died and one of it still on critical condition.

May Allah placed him in Jannah.

Kun, fayakun! If Allah wants, it will happens easily. He is the greatest. We can't deny it. Let's we do muhassabah. What are the right things that you have been done so far in your life? (I mean myself). If the answers are disappointed. We still have time to change! Allah is rahiim. Allah is rahmaan.

Because you know what, later in akhirat all parts of your body will give their testimony!!! For whatever you did in this dunya, ya this dunya. (Surat Yasin : 65)

I do believe if I have so many sins. :'(

Ibn Qayim rahimahullah said, " The smaller a sin is in your eyes, the greater it is in Allah's, and the greater it is in your eyes, the smaller it is in Allah's ."

We still have time until (we never know). Do now. Do the small thing and be istiqomah on it! Allah knows us best. He knows best. He knows. Allah knows.