Time

Almost half of a year I have been in Indonesia, 5 months to be exact. By the way, there are a lot of changes on me. A lot, I could say. And I, myself, is the one who really can feel it. 

I already passed the report to the company that I did my training before. Relief? Not yet. I still have to settle logbook and giving some final touch to the report (fyi: the duedate is on Monday 30th). 4 days left, and the new semester will start. By Allah's will, FYP1 is already waiting me; I guess, my assignment for first week in Uniten will be my FYP proposal, insyaAllah. Another 2 semesters left, insyaAllah I have already known what I should do next after graduate, time will answer-of-course, always seek His guide, His blessing, His mercy for going through the next level of this life. 

Samy n Dafi, I definitely will miss you! :(

p/s: counting down the days to leave this baiti jannati!!

Aging Parents

I was just reading a good article on Suhaib Webb 'A Reflection on Aging Parents', then it makes me wanna write something about it. 

Parents. I still have complete parents, a mom or I called her 'Ummi' and a dad or 'Abah', Alhamdulillah. Times is running, and it does influence with the age of people. This year, Abah's age will be 62 years old and Ummi's will be 50 years. Yupp, 12 years difference between them. My mom married at the age of 19, Allah has set it. No university life for her. And my dad, he has to struggle by himself to pay his fees for university when he was studying Civil Engineering at Brawijaya University, Allah's will - he couldn't finish his study, he is way to busy for working that time, he stops in 6th semester. Abah told me, he started to work from junior high school even until now! :( My grandfather is passed away when he was 7 years old. Hmm, I guess that makes him so mature to arrange his life properly. Life right?

"Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor." - Surah Al Isra (17:23). 

Ah, I am about to cry when read this ayat.. Abah and Ummi, I am your naughty daughter which still often to say 'Ah, later la..'

Abah, I am full of sins. Sometimes when you ask to repeat my words, 3 or 4 times, then suddenly the volume of my voice is increasing. Ya Allah. When you teach me to talk, how many times did you repeat the words to me? How many times you correct my spelling?

Ummi, I am full of sins. How I am going to pay you with everything you gave to me? Your struggle, your knowledge, your patience and every single thing from you. Once I listen a lecture about mother, if you are trying to hold your mother with your back then you walked around this world, it is NOT ENOUGH to pay your mother!!

Don't wait until you see your parents carried out of the masjid in a box to realize how much better they deserved from you. -Amatullah. Astaghfirullah, Astaghfirullah, Astaghfirullah. TT_T

Don't you know those people who treat and obey their parents can assured that their children will also show kindness and compassion to them? It does continue from generation to generation. I guess, both father and mother are equal when it comes to caring for them and providing all their needs. The time that the parents need to be looked after most, is in their OLD AGE.

p/s: I am not your good daughter, but I am trying to be a good one. I do. Allah, have mercy on both of them as they cared me when I was little.

2012

My first post in this year, I don't know why I am so lazy to write recently. Anyway, I don't like to wish a happy new year since our prophet (peace be upon him) never us to do so even his companions. I just dont like new year, it means my age is increasing and we are near of our death. But one thing from this year is, I will graduate, another 2 semesters left insyaAllah. AAAAAMINN!

I spend most of my time with family, yes family. I just came from Batu-East Java, my grandma's and my aunties' home are there. I was spending my 10 days just chilling with family, catching up what is left from them. But my luck wasn't with me, the OpenOffice in my (yasir's) laptop couldn't work, sooo I can't do my training report during my stay. Because of it, I have to go my cousin's home to edit and send my writing for 99HijabStories - A book project from an Indonesian author Muhammad Assad, the dateline was 31 December 2011. His book Notes From Qatar is inspiring, I don't buy the book, I just read his blog because most of his writing in that book is taken from his blog. No, I didn't wish much of my writing will be one of stories that he choose for his book, I just wanna do something during my free time. 

And recently too, the fitnaa that is pointing to me and my family has been spreading nicely. I am trying for not doing bad things to others, I always trying to keep my habluminannas remain good, I do always do. But, I don't know how to stay with this. You know people out there, it's me Nabila that always and always protect myself since I baligh until the last breath of mine, only Allah knows me best. Dont't you know when my imaan is low, how hard I protect myself and asked Allah to stay with me? But those people just so easy to talk. It really hurts me, Allah. It hurts. But in times like this, I just keep my anger and keep silent, while I keep reciting du'a.

Inna maal usri yusro fa inna maal usri yusro.

At most writings that I have, I write rubbish in here. Lump it then.

p/s: The bad news is, I am so lazy to write my training report, lucky me the company haven't asked of it yet. Oh come on, nabila!!